April 5th, 2013

April 5, 2013: My first day of gratitude entry in quite a while! 

Today was very special. Caitlynn had her first number in the final competition of the year. It's been a tough year, her dances not scoring as well as we thought they should. But tonight was her night! Her jazz dance to 20th Century Mambo received a platinum, a special award called "Style and Stage Presence" and was first in her category. This was one of only a handful of platinums given out to all solos in her age group. So proud!

January 9, 2013

I had special items to be grateful for today. Good laughs with a friend at work, progress in figuring out my new job and the corporate contacts to go with it, my son doing his homework sans problems. But my gratitude post is about getting back to the gym. Despite a long day and feeling tired, Vin and I hit the gym after dinner and did 45 minutes on the treadmill. I covered about 3 miles and struggled at the end but I finished! The gym posted this on Facebook and it fits, so I grabbed it.

January 8, 2013

I'm grateful for dance costumes- the butterfly dress that came home for Caitlynn's lyric solo (needs only a bit of gem work), the modern solo costume I am sewing and whose skirt is now finished thanks to my new sewing machine, the jazz solo costume with an unknown arrival that needs a lot of gem work and may mean some late night sessions if it doesn't arrive soon. It's difficult sometimes but it's one of my few creative outlets now. I enjoy seeing her in the end result!

January 7, 2013

Today I am grateful for the sun- as it rises over my neighborhood as I leave for work, as it shines down on me as I drive, as it comes through the 1st floor landing windows and warms me in the afternoon, as it lifts my mood and gives me strength.

January 6, 2013

Today was a very pleasant and relaxing day doing nothing in particular. This afternoon we took our early Sunday dinner out of the house, at Outback. Yummy steak, tender baked potato topped with everything, frothy sweet sangria. Oh yes, it was a meal to be thankful for. What made it even better? The entire bill for the four of us was covered by a gift card given to us by a friend for Christmas. It was an unexpected and very welcome gift, and I am extremely grateful for it!

January 5, 2013

Today was tough. Brandon woke up with severe neck pain, Caitlynn has a cold and I just feel depressed, irritable, worn out. So we let go of plans and took care of ourselves. CVS rewards saved our broke selves a bunch on necessities. Shop Rite netted a dessert-making activity for Sunday. We did a lot of couch sitting and a bit of cleaning. I finished one book, then another. it was the right way to spend the day. I am grateful we just let ourselves do what we needed most.

January 4, 2013

Vin is off for a guys' night in NYC so the kidlings and I settle in to watch a movie he has no interest in, The Hunger Games. Not as good as the book but a fun watch nonetheless. Thankful to be curled up on the couch with my kids enjoying a quiet night together. One teenager, one nearly there. It goes so fast. I wish I could remember to make every possible moment like this one. Since the reality is I am not the most patient or wonderful mother, I'll hold this moment close.

January 3, 2013

Today my husband took us to one of the local diners for dinner. Here you see him finding his 365 shot of the day as ice melts in his glass. Not only am I happy for the fried chicken I enjoyed (one of my big weaknesses), I am truly grateful for the art my talented husband enriches our life with. This is one incredible artist, with photos being just his most recent medium. Really, check him out: www.vincentjamespia.com

January 2, 2013

Today I am grateful for new opportunities. As Oce integrated into Canon on January 1st, I was originally scheduled to be eliminated as an equivalent position did not exist. I received the combined blessing of one division's marketing person moving to a new opportunity and recognition of my previous efforts by upper management. I am experiencing some "survivor's guilt" as some very dear to me were not so lucky, but this is the right thing for my family. New skills to learn too.

January 1st, 2013

Today I am thankful for the symbolism of a new beginning. I am shedding the burdens of the old and preparing myself to thrive in the new. A wonderful dinner cooked by my husband and a crisp prosecco teasing my tongue are a physical accompaniment to the feeling of hope bubbling inside. Happy New Year!!

365 Days of Gratitude- Intro

This is my version of my husband's 365 day photography project. Each day I will take note of something I am thankful for and will post either actual photos or "borrowed" representations of it. The photos may not be loaded every day, but each photo will apply to a specific moment of gratitude in the applicable day.

Snuck up on me. It's dance competition season again?!

Oh dear, it's nearly January 1st. January heralds in our daughter's dance competition season. I am so not prepared.

I swear it seems like yesterday was September and I had planned to be fully complete and way ahead of the game by now. Instead I find myself with a costume to complete this week since she needs to practice in it, gems to buy for the pre-made costumes that may not even arrive until a day or so before the first competition (meaning late night gemming sessions to get them assembled and set in time), hair pieces to make or buy and random little items to buy to stock up her cases and a host of insanity ahead.

Time to load up my new Brother Sewing machine Vin gave me, do some Swarovski hotfix gem shopping on Amazon.com and hunker down to business!

Bobby pins- where are the bobby pins?

Struggles...

I received this little story in my e-mail from a motivational subscription I signed up for at http://www.arinanikitina.com . It spoke to me so I thought I would pass it on for others.


A man found a cocoon of a butterfly.
One day a small opening appeared.
He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it
struggled to squeeze its body through the tiny hole.
Then it stopped, as if it couldn't go further.
So the man decided to help the butterfly.
He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining
bits of cocoon. The butterfly emerged easily but it had
a swollen body and shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch it, expecting that any minute
the wings would enlarge and expand enough to support the
body.
Neither happened!
In fact the butterfly spent the rest of its life
crawling around. It was never able to fly.
What the man in his kindness and haste did not
understand: The restricting cocoon and the struggle
required by the butterfly to get through the opening was
a way of forcing the fluid from the body into the wings
so that it would be ready for flight once that was
achieved.
Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives.
Going through life with no obstacles would cripple us.
We will not be as strong as we could have been and we
would never fly.
Arina 

Getting remarried... to my husband.

My husband is converting back to Catholicism after a long time outside the church. Because our wedding was held outside the church's authority (is that really the right word I'm going for? maybe just outside the church?), we need to hold a convalidation ceremony to have our marriage recognized as a Sacrament and for Vin to be able to take communion.

I have a lot of confusion about the process having never been a part of any formal church, much less the Catholic one, but Vin's priest has been very good in explaining not only the process but the "whys". Thankfully, my continued path outside any church will not be an issue at all. I fully support Vin's journey to what is best for his life and he supports mine- I'd hate for rules and regulations to throw a monkey wrench in either of our needs.

But back to my reason for posting- we need to have a convalidation ceremony. In effect, it's like a whole new wedding. Since we've been married for quite some time and been through so much together, we'd often talked about a future renewal of vows. Seems to me that this goes one step better!

We need to keep it a small affair as we simply cannot handle the expense of a full wedding guest list. Just family really (our immediate family combined is over 20 people- lots of siblings and children). But we want to actually enjoy it as more than just a quick church mass- we want a reception too. So here we are looking at caterers, locations, cakes, etc. This is just so weird. And I love it!

I'm typically so far from girly, but I will admit to some excitement over dress, ceremony, reception and finally, after 13 years of marriage, the chance for a real honeymoon. We've been trying to go to Italy for over a year now as a delayed honeymoon. Now we can work hard to make it a real one!

I'm a bit stressed over it all but I love how my husband is the one looking at all the reception stuff before I am. He's such a romantic!

My Favorite Time of Day

I am not a morning person. It takes me quite some time and several cups of coffee before I can face the world. No one should be near me before this process takes place. Yet despite this, my favorite time of day is fast becoming the early morning hours.

Once the family is up, it's noise and rush and insanity. My day no longer feels like my own as we get ready for work and school or weekend activities. Vin and the kids are so active that my slower, quieter self is left feeling bewildered, often overwhelmed.

The real me is a solitary person. I crave peace and quiet, my own schedule, my own space. Social times are enjoyed but in small amounts. Crowds disturb me intensely and their noise overstimulates my ears and head until I can't think straight. It may be a product of my bipolar disorder but when I don't get regular periods of alone time (real alone time, not alone in a crowded room scenarios) I begin to get extremely irritable and unreasonable. I'm more prone to anger and then depression. There is just some trigger inside me that shouts "enough interaction, I need to hide".

So I have made the commitment to get out of bed earlier every morning. I don't have much time, but this time helps give me the solitude I need. It's not perfect. I mean, if I feel the need to belt out show tunes I really can't do that when everyone else sleeps. I can't do any heavy cleaning or rearrange furniture. I still need full days when I can be home with no one to really heal. But these early mornings before the family rises, with a cup of coffee in my hand and the birds singing in the trees, these are the soothing moments that help keep me going strong.

No more laundromat for me!

When we moved into this house, a washer and dryer were part of the deal. With two active children, a husband and my own split wardrobe (work clothes and living clothes), this was a huge bonus for us. Who wants to lug four people's worth of clothing to the laundromat each week?

They were an old pair but worked well for some time. Until the day the washer decided it would start leaking and would not be fixed. Then shortly after, when I washed 6 loads at the laundromat and brought them home to dry and the dryer decided it too had lived its life out. (Lugging 6 heavy wet loads back to the laundromat was no fun task, believe me).

Since then, we have had a useless chunk of metal taking up space in our bathroom. Why did we leave it there? Because we thought we'd be getting a new pair rather quickly and did not want to pay $100 for the propane company to close off the line and then another $100 later to re-install it with the new dryer.

Years later (I thought three but my husband says closer to five) that useless metal was still sitting there. As we researched, we found that our full size stackables with a gas dryer are extremely expensive. Switching to electric would have saved a bit in appliance costs but would require the difference spent in changing out our electrical circuit. We were simply never able to get that money together and make the purchase.

So for all these years I have been running to the laundromat once a week or every other week. It was a big production- basket after basket of laundry sorted (6-10 was typical) and pockets checked for the goodies my son likes to leave in them. Basket after basket loaded into the car, then out of the car and into washers, then out of washers and into dryers, then back to the car and back home. The laundromat was often crowded to overflowing. We would try to run errands in between cycles since time is not an available luxury for us. Sometimes people would take our clothes out of the machines while we were out. Many times, our crazy schedule left me dealing with laundry at 9 or 10 at night. Always, it was exhausting. By the time it was all washed and brought home, there was no energy left to sort and fold and put away. We frequently were living out of baskets rather than drawers and closets, until we'd get a chunk of free time or a burst of energy and get it all dealt with. Our clothes were getting worn from the industrial dryers and wrinkled when we didn't get them folded and hung right away.

I was so sick of it. But we just haven't been in a position to do much about it. Until yesterday, when my new LG All in One Washer/Dryer combo was delivered by Aarons. Aarons found one available new unit at a reasonable price despite the time payments. It's not a propane operated dryer which would be so efficient, but this little unit plugs right into the electric we already have in place. It is high efficiency and low waste, doesn't require outside venting and has a great warranty.

I can't really review the product itself yet as we are just getting used to it, but I will say this. The 2.7 cubic foot washer takes a good amount of clothes. When you switch it to dry, a full washer load needs to be split in half for a proper dry according to the manual. It has a lengthier process than other machines BUT it's really not bad at all. Once I get caught up on what was supposed to be this week's full laundromat load, one load a day or every other day will make this the perfect unit for us.

Other bonuses? I no longer have to spend hours dealing with prepping laundry and lugging laundry and dealing with the laundromat. Once Leahy's comes out and disconnects the old propane hookup and we can get rid of the  old dryer, we will have space for a bathroom cabinet or shelves, giving us some much needed storage. AND- the clothes that I have washed so far? They are all folded and ready to be put in a drawer. No more wrinkled clothes and basket living for us!

Life is good!

Human Nature? Human Immature.

What is it with people? Why do they assume you don't know what is involved with realizing your dreams and feel it is their responsibility to tell you all the negatives and try to bring you down before you even get started? Realities are to be discussed with your husband or wife or children. Those close relationships are where you discuss the ups and downs, the costs and benefits, the wins and losses.

If you are outside of those partnerships, unless otherwise asked, it is not your place to lay out negativity all over someone's journey. You support quietly, encourage openly or stay silent.

I don't have patience for people who think I'm an idiot. Nor do I have patience for people who live to put a negative word in wherever possible. I am not a child, I am not blind and I am certainly not stupid. I don't need discouragement- there is plenty of that in life as it is.

I just don't understand it.

And it's beginning to snow...

I guess the time has really come for winter to show its face again. After an October snowstorm of around 17 inches of heavy, wet snow and ice came through, leaving us without power for a week and canceling Halloween (that's right, CANCELED!), I was happy enough without it.

This winter has been incredibly mild, especially when you consider that we live in New England. Sunny springlike days, sweater weather... simply wonderful for an anti-cold person like me. I was getting used to it and loving every moment. But the dream was too good to last.

We've had a few dustings, even an inch or so that quickly melted. But sometime in the wee hours of the morning, it began to snow in earnest. And it's still coming down. All told, they are forecasting 4-6 inches for our area.

I'm thankful it's the weekend and I don't have to figure out school and work issues. I'm thankful I only had a few "out of house" things to get done and they'll all keep until tomorrow. I have food in the fridge and coffee on the burner. I have two dance costumes to finish this weekend, a small client project and a good amount of work for my regular job. I have a house to clean. So I'm going to look at this cold, white stuff I could live without and see it as a tool to give me the time I may otherwise have spent chasing after my family's goals instead of mine. And while I'm tucked inside, safe and warm,  I might just spend a few minutes admiring the view. Because it may be cold, and it may be bothersome and I may be happy to live without it, but it sure is pretty. Just don't tell that to the clouds.

Can't pretend anymore!

I can no longer hide it. I will no longer pretend.

I HATE mornings. I hate early mornings. I hate cold, winter mornings. Most of all, I hate waking up in the dark when my natural clock is saying "NO! Don't do it!" and having it continue to be dark for another two hours. It takes me 2-3 cups of coffee just to get moving these days.

I think morning is a cruel form of torture inflicted upon us by some evil creature with an overabundance of energy. Actually, I know a few people like that.

Anyway, I do enjoy the silence of being up while the rest of my typically in your face family still sleeps but I believe 10am would be a more appropriate time to start the day. At least during a New England winter. So how about it Congress? Let's be rid of the current time table. Let's throw daylight savings out the window. Let's really go on a daylight program. Morning begins when it gets light and night begins when it gets dark. Period. So we'll work pretty short days this time of year. Think of the reduction in absenteeism when workers get three months of shortened days to serve as a "sort of" vacation.

How about it? Maybe I should start a petition.

Exercise, food, yada yada Part 2

Just so you know what I was talking about in the last post...

Costate di Maiale con Capperi made from locally raised pork, pan roasted fingerling potatoes, fresh steamed green beans

Ready for my close up... Heaven on a plate!

This may have been the best thing I have ever eaten... and with a husband like mine around I have a wide range of great food experiences to judge on. Divine, just simply divine. And I have some left over for lunch!