Snuck up on me. It's dance competition season again?!

Oh dear, it's nearly January 1st. January heralds in our daughter's dance competition season. I am so not prepared.

I swear it seems like yesterday was September and I had planned to be fully complete and way ahead of the game by now. Instead I find myself with a costume to complete this week since she needs to practice in it, gems to buy for the pre-made costumes that may not even arrive until a day or so before the first competition (meaning late night gemming sessions to get them assembled and set in time), hair pieces to make or buy and random little items to buy to stock up her cases and a host of insanity ahead.

Time to load up my new Brother Sewing machine Vin gave me, do some Swarovski hotfix gem shopping on Amazon.com and hunker down to business!

Bobby pins- where are the bobby pins?

Struggles...

I received this little story in my e-mail from a motivational subscription I signed up for at http://www.arinanikitina.com . It spoke to me so I thought I would pass it on for others.


A man found a cocoon of a butterfly.
One day a small opening appeared.
He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it
struggled to squeeze its body through the tiny hole.
Then it stopped, as if it couldn't go further.
So the man decided to help the butterfly.
He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining
bits of cocoon. The butterfly emerged easily but it had
a swollen body and shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch it, expecting that any minute
the wings would enlarge and expand enough to support the
body.
Neither happened!
In fact the butterfly spent the rest of its life
crawling around. It was never able to fly.
What the man in his kindness and haste did not
understand: The restricting cocoon and the struggle
required by the butterfly to get through the opening was
a way of forcing the fluid from the body into the wings
so that it would be ready for flight once that was
achieved.
Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our lives.
Going through life with no obstacles would cripple us.
We will not be as strong as we could have been and we
would never fly.
Arina 

Getting remarried... to my husband.

My husband is converting back to Catholicism after a long time outside the church. Because our wedding was held outside the church's authority (is that really the right word I'm going for? maybe just outside the church?), we need to hold a convalidation ceremony to have our marriage recognized as a Sacrament and for Vin to be able to take communion.

I have a lot of confusion about the process having never been a part of any formal church, much less the Catholic one, but Vin's priest has been very good in explaining not only the process but the "whys". Thankfully, my continued path outside any church will not be an issue at all. I fully support Vin's journey to what is best for his life and he supports mine- I'd hate for rules and regulations to throw a monkey wrench in either of our needs.

But back to my reason for posting- we need to have a convalidation ceremony. In effect, it's like a whole new wedding. Since we've been married for quite some time and been through so much together, we'd often talked about a future renewal of vows. Seems to me that this goes one step better!

We need to keep it a small affair as we simply cannot handle the expense of a full wedding guest list. Just family really (our immediate family combined is over 20 people- lots of siblings and children). But we want to actually enjoy it as more than just a quick church mass- we want a reception too. So here we are looking at caterers, locations, cakes, etc. This is just so weird. And I love it!

I'm typically so far from girly, but I will admit to some excitement over dress, ceremony, reception and finally, after 13 years of marriage, the chance for a real honeymoon. We've been trying to go to Italy for over a year now as a delayed honeymoon. Now we can work hard to make it a real one!

I'm a bit stressed over it all but I love how my husband is the one looking at all the reception stuff before I am. He's such a romantic!

My Favorite Time of Day

I am not a morning person. It takes me quite some time and several cups of coffee before I can face the world. No one should be near me before this process takes place. Yet despite this, my favorite time of day is fast becoming the early morning hours.

Once the family is up, it's noise and rush and insanity. My day no longer feels like my own as we get ready for work and school or weekend activities. Vin and the kids are so active that my slower, quieter self is left feeling bewildered, often overwhelmed.

The real me is a solitary person. I crave peace and quiet, my own schedule, my own space. Social times are enjoyed but in small amounts. Crowds disturb me intensely and their noise overstimulates my ears and head until I can't think straight. It may be a product of my bipolar disorder but when I don't get regular periods of alone time (real alone time, not alone in a crowded room scenarios) I begin to get extremely irritable and unreasonable. I'm more prone to anger and then depression. There is just some trigger inside me that shouts "enough interaction, I need to hide".

So I have made the commitment to get out of bed earlier every morning. I don't have much time, but this time helps give me the solitude I need. It's not perfect. I mean, if I feel the need to belt out show tunes I really can't do that when everyone else sleeps. I can't do any heavy cleaning or rearrange furniture. I still need full days when I can be home with no one to really heal. But these early mornings before the family rises, with a cup of coffee in my hand and the birds singing in the trees, these are the soothing moments that help keep me going strong.

No more laundromat for me!

When we moved into this house, a washer and dryer were part of the deal. With two active children, a husband and my own split wardrobe (work clothes and living clothes), this was a huge bonus for us. Who wants to lug four people's worth of clothing to the laundromat each week?

They were an old pair but worked well for some time. Until the day the washer decided it would start leaking and would not be fixed. Then shortly after, when I washed 6 loads at the laundromat and brought them home to dry and the dryer decided it too had lived its life out. (Lugging 6 heavy wet loads back to the laundromat was no fun task, believe me).

Since then, we have had a useless chunk of metal taking up space in our bathroom. Why did we leave it there? Because we thought we'd be getting a new pair rather quickly and did not want to pay $100 for the propane company to close off the line and then another $100 later to re-install it with the new dryer.

Years later (I thought three but my husband says closer to five) that useless metal was still sitting there. As we researched, we found that our full size stackables with a gas dryer are extremely expensive. Switching to electric would have saved a bit in appliance costs but would require the difference spent in changing out our electrical circuit. We were simply never able to get that money together and make the purchase.

So for all these years I have been running to the laundromat once a week or every other week. It was a big production- basket after basket of laundry sorted (6-10 was typical) and pockets checked for the goodies my son likes to leave in them. Basket after basket loaded into the car, then out of the car and into washers, then out of washers and into dryers, then back to the car and back home. The laundromat was often crowded to overflowing. We would try to run errands in between cycles since time is not an available luxury for us. Sometimes people would take our clothes out of the machines while we were out. Many times, our crazy schedule left me dealing with laundry at 9 or 10 at night. Always, it was exhausting. By the time it was all washed and brought home, there was no energy left to sort and fold and put away. We frequently were living out of baskets rather than drawers and closets, until we'd get a chunk of free time or a burst of energy and get it all dealt with. Our clothes were getting worn from the industrial dryers and wrinkled when we didn't get them folded and hung right away.

I was so sick of it. But we just haven't been in a position to do much about it. Until yesterday, when my new LG All in One Washer/Dryer combo was delivered by Aarons. Aarons found one available new unit at a reasonable price despite the time payments. It's not a propane operated dryer which would be so efficient, but this little unit plugs right into the electric we already have in place. It is high efficiency and low waste, doesn't require outside venting and has a great warranty.

I can't really review the product itself yet as we are just getting used to it, but I will say this. The 2.7 cubic foot washer takes a good amount of clothes. When you switch it to dry, a full washer load needs to be split in half for a proper dry according to the manual. It has a lengthier process than other machines BUT it's really not bad at all. Once I get caught up on what was supposed to be this week's full laundromat load, one load a day or every other day will make this the perfect unit for us.

Other bonuses? I no longer have to spend hours dealing with prepping laundry and lugging laundry and dealing with the laundromat. Once Leahy's comes out and disconnects the old propane hookup and we can get rid of the  old dryer, we will have space for a bathroom cabinet or shelves, giving us some much needed storage. AND- the clothes that I have washed so far? They are all folded and ready to be put in a drawer. No more wrinkled clothes and basket living for us!

Life is good!

Human Nature? Human Immature.

What is it with people? Why do they assume you don't know what is involved with realizing your dreams and feel it is their responsibility to tell you all the negatives and try to bring you down before you even get started? Realities are to be discussed with your husband or wife or children. Those close relationships are where you discuss the ups and downs, the costs and benefits, the wins and losses.

If you are outside of those partnerships, unless otherwise asked, it is not your place to lay out negativity all over someone's journey. You support quietly, encourage openly or stay silent.

I don't have patience for people who think I'm an idiot. Nor do I have patience for people who live to put a negative word in wherever possible. I am not a child, I am not blind and I am certainly not stupid. I don't need discouragement- there is plenty of that in life as it is.

I just don't understand it.

And it's beginning to snow...

I guess the time has really come for winter to show its face again. After an October snowstorm of around 17 inches of heavy, wet snow and ice came through, leaving us without power for a week and canceling Halloween (that's right, CANCELED!), I was happy enough without it.

This winter has been incredibly mild, especially when you consider that we live in New England. Sunny springlike days, sweater weather... simply wonderful for an anti-cold person like me. I was getting used to it and loving every moment. But the dream was too good to last.

We've had a few dustings, even an inch or so that quickly melted. But sometime in the wee hours of the morning, it began to snow in earnest. And it's still coming down. All told, they are forecasting 4-6 inches for our area.

I'm thankful it's the weekend and I don't have to figure out school and work issues. I'm thankful I only had a few "out of house" things to get done and they'll all keep until tomorrow. I have food in the fridge and coffee on the burner. I have two dance costumes to finish this weekend, a small client project and a good amount of work for my regular job. I have a house to clean. So I'm going to look at this cold, white stuff I could live without and see it as a tool to give me the time I may otherwise have spent chasing after my family's goals instead of mine. And while I'm tucked inside, safe and warm,  I might just spend a few minutes admiring the view. Because it may be cold, and it may be bothersome and I may be happy to live without it, but it sure is pretty. Just don't tell that to the clouds.

Can't pretend anymore!

I can no longer hide it. I will no longer pretend.

I HATE mornings. I hate early mornings. I hate cold, winter mornings. Most of all, I hate waking up in the dark when my natural clock is saying "NO! Don't do it!" and having it continue to be dark for another two hours. It takes me 2-3 cups of coffee just to get moving these days.

I think morning is a cruel form of torture inflicted upon us by some evil creature with an overabundance of energy. Actually, I know a few people like that.

Anyway, I do enjoy the silence of being up while the rest of my typically in your face family still sleeps but I believe 10am would be a more appropriate time to start the day. At least during a New England winter. So how about it Congress? Let's be rid of the current time table. Let's throw daylight savings out the window. Let's really go on a daylight program. Morning begins when it gets light and night begins when it gets dark. Period. So we'll work pretty short days this time of year. Think of the reduction in absenteeism when workers get three months of shortened days to serve as a "sort of" vacation.

How about it? Maybe I should start a petition.

Exercise, food, yada yada Part 2

Just so you know what I was talking about in the last post...

Costate di Maiale con Capperi made from locally raised pork, pan roasted fingerling potatoes, fresh steamed green beans

Ready for my close up... Heaven on a plate!

This may have been the best thing I have ever eaten... and with a husband like mine around I have a wide range of great food experiences to judge on. Divine, just simply divine. And I have some left over for lunch!

Post exercise effects on a junk food addict

One of my self descriptions is that I have never found a cookie I could walk past. Fried chicken may be my absolute favorite food. Cheeseburgers, eggs, chocolate bars, even salads, all go better with bacon. Holiday meals are preludes to dessert and I buy into every chocolate candy commercial that shows a woman melting into an attitude of relaxed contentment with a single nibble of the latest offering.

So I've been extremely proud of myself this first week of January as I kept the junk to a minimum, ate salads and yogurt and whole grains and fruit. I've actually enjoyed the change in diet. It's a huge deal to me to pass by the chicken fingers and hit the salad bar instead, especially on a high-stress day.

But tonight, oh god tonight.... My husband who has religiously gone to the gym each day since we joined finally had the chance to drag me there. I just got off an hour on the treadmill and I'm sore but feeling good. Then we had to stop at the store. Suddenly I swear I can smell every fried chicken piece and nugget in a twenty mile radius. Seeing as I live right down the road from a fast food alley, there's plenty to be found. I'm craving salt, craving grease and craving sweets too. Pure torture I tell you!

I mean what the heck? Is my body so scared of exercise it's going into some post traumatic shock and is seeking out the greatest of comfort foods? I'm freaking starving here and can't do a thing about it!

Fast forward past the errands and back at home. My husband is cooking up some sort of pork chop dinner with garlic and lemon and capers and wine. It smells divine and drool is actually forming. So savory I don't even need to pretend it's not a healthy meal. Vincent James Pia just might be a god. If he hurries the heck up before I chew off my arm.

Who needs fried chicken?

A secret confession... And my next purchase

I have to admit that I really do enjoy this dance costume gemming thing. I feel like it gives me an opportunity to be creative and make beautiful objects, which I usually find myself unable to do. It's a controlled setting with absolute freedom within relatively strict boundaries. I know, that sounds very mixed up and I don't really know if I can explain it better. Let's just leave it at this: I am not very creative, absolutely not artistic, but this gives me a way to pretend I am.

As I've been researching techniques and designs for this year's costumes, I ran into a great article on the blog Khromeatplay about creating your own iron-on gem patterns: http://khromeatplay.blogspot.com/2006/09/how-to-make-your-own-custom-rhinestone.html .

Totally fell in love with the idea and immediately went looking at the local store for the mylar hot fix film I need to start sticking on my own personalized rhinestone designs. Sadly they had none, so for now I'm working free-hand. But I checked out the stuff online ( I LOVE the Google shopping function, LOL) and found it on Amazon.com.

I know now what my next purchase will be: http://www.amazon.com/Hot-Rhinestones-Transfer-Film-Paper/dp/B00467PWRY/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1325911095&sr=8-1

While I'm there, I'll pick up these creepy looking things too, because those darn gems are tough to hang on to, even with tweezers: http://www.amazon.com/Beadsmith-Jewel-Setter-for-Rhinestones/dp/B002RTJ4Q8/ref=pd_sim_misc_6

I'm looking forward to getting these, especially the film so I can do more intricate patterns despite my limited ability. This is what I'll use to decorate the awesome new dance bag Uncles Chris and Tony bought Caitlynn for Christmas, the Dream Duffel: http://shop.dreamduffel.com/product.sc;jsessionid=0B08ACA6CF89C6C806BD136BA7919EA3.qscstrfrnt04?productId=1&categoryId=1

This Dream Duffle Rocks!

That bag is SO awesome. It has the garment rack built in as a one touch pop-up, holds a large number of costumes, has a built in cooler pocket and a ton of accessory pockets. Even comes with a folding stool! And it has two large ID patches just waiting to be decorated.

So anyway, I can't wait to get this film when I get paid. I am going to practice all sorts of designs. I'll give some as gifts to her dance friends and maybe, if I get good enough, I can start selling the completed and ready to use designs to help fund her ever-expanding list of classes, competitions and accessories. 

It's good to feel so excited about something!

At Your Service Recommended Blog: What I Made Today: Win a Happy 2012 Whimsy!

You NEED to check out this wonderful blog by an incredible woman I just happen to have the fortune of knowing. This post is just a teaser from me to get you there- read it, enter her contest and maybe get to welcome one of her sweet pieces of art and soul into your home. 

What I Made Today: Win a Happy 2012 Whimsy!
Then you need to check out the rest of her blog and her collections of wonderful handmade items for sale in her shops. Trust me- it's a must!

Dance designs, the easy part. I think.

Day 1 of dance costume prep involved packing supplies, lugging costume in garment bag and gemming at my mother-in-law's dining table as we visited. (I have no time to slack off!)

Red gems line the bottom all the way around the legs. A few sparkly clears are thrown on the front for a bit of shine when she moves. That's all this part needs. Her shirt will cover the top of the shorts and her vest will be heavily decorated. Keeping it simple, right?

Ooooo. Simple but sparkly.

Okay, so I started with the easy piece. Hey, why not? I'm using a heat gun I've never used before and types of gems I've never touched. I'm no expert. As I quickly demonstrated with my first application of heat tool to gem to fabric:

Oopsies. Did I do that?

Yeah. Not so good. Apparently it can get so hot it melts right through the fabric. Lesson learned- I didn't do it again. But I do have a very attractive piece of cardboard now. Don't believe me? Take a look:

See the line of black around it? That used to be fabric. Did you know melted fabric makes for a REALLY strong glue? My cardboard does. Really, really, really strong glue.

I guess I need to learn the fine line between getting the gem good and set and setting the pants on fire good. I may go back to glue with the shirt. Who knows what I might do with that thin fabric! Vest tomorrow. Several evenings work await me on that. Wish me luck. Think I'm gonna need it.

The End MUST Be Near!

The End of The World MUST be coming. That's the only thing that can explain why, after picking my husband up from work today, we journeyed on over to a local gym... and JOINED!

Our home gym sits folded in the coat closet. Our treadmill stands folded in the living area, now the choice of perches for our cat. Hand weights and yoga mats collect dust. Workout dvds idle on our shelves. Our rears sit glued to the couch rather than propelling us around the neighborhood for an evening walk. Now that we have joined a gym, you folks had best start collecting your canned goods and digging your fallout shelters because the end is imminent!

Gyms intimidate the heck out of me. All those machines I don't know how to use. The place full of already fit women and men. The intensity of people who know what they are there for and take it so, so seriously. My eyes glaze over, my brain loses about 50 IQ points as I try to determine what each piece of equipment does and my out of shape self suddenly looks even dumpier and frumpier and out of shape to my eyes.

But seriously.... If I'm paying a fee every month for 12 months under contract, this cheap person will darn well get every bit of use out of it she can. It's too easy to look at the exercise equipment at home and say "I'll get to it later"  but when I need to schedule the gym around a very crazy life, I'll start thinking of that as my get away time. A few nights a week we'll leave the kids to fend for themselves for an hour or two after dinner and make good our escape. We'll enjoy a little couple time on the treadmills. Maybe I'll tackle a virtual spinning class. I'll work through my aches and pains with some virtual yoga. Vin and I will be working to improve our health together, to look better together and to share some alone time together.

Not such a bad idea after all. But just in case, stock up on bottled water.

Sunday Gravy, A Family Tradition

My husband does the cooking in this household. It’s just healthier for everyone. Trust me!

 I am capable of only the simplest meals. Vin is a phenomenal cook capable of creating complex meals in the time it takes me to cut up a chicken breast.  Oh yes, I much prefer eating what he dishes out than standing over the stove making a huge mess.

Lately our lives were turned upside down by a series of events and our meal and family time flew out the window. Dinner consisted of food picked up fast on the way home each night after 8pm. Unhealthy, disgusting, boring and expensive as heck. In defense, Vin reinstated a tradition we once followed, one passed down to him by his grandmother, and a tradition familiar to anyone who had a true Italian grandmother in their background. Sunday Gravy.

Early on Sunday, Vin starts cooking up a big pot of Sunday Gravy, also known as sauce. He processes the tomatoes, seasons, simmers, does everything from scratch. The house starts to fill up with the warm scent of goodness waiting to hit our plates. He mixes meats and molds meatballs, he makes bracciole or cuts small pieces of veal or beef steaks to cook in the sauce.  Sunday is all about magic in the kitchen.

When we sit down for an early Sunday meal, everyone must be at the table. There is no eating in the living room in front of the television on this day. The kids’ eyes grow large and you can almost see them drool as the pasta, sauce and meat are brought to the table.

Sunday dinners are a wonderful time. A peaceful time for family, and maybe someday a few friends. It’s a break in a hectic lifestyle and a chance to reconnect. As I stared out across our small kitchen table yesterday evening, I reflected how much like life the setting really was. People coming together over mismatched bowls and platters, mismatched events, mismatched circumstances. People finding joy in simple things, forgetting the need for perfection. Breaking bread, sopping up life’s goodness. People sharing love over the simplest of common ground- a good meal.

I love our Sunday tradition and I look forward to continuing it for a very long time.  

Sunday Gravy- snapshot taken from video by Vincent James Pia, cooked by Vincent James Pia, enjoyed by the Pia clan

It's that time of year again!

No, no. Not the holidays!

It's dance competition season. The time when even normally sane (I do use that term loosely) mothers start turning into raving lunatics as they pull out the glue guns and heat tools, the Swarovski crystals, the fabrics, the thread and needle and soon their hair... all in the quest to ensure their little girls just sparkle out there in front of the judges.

Sound like a nightmare a la Toddlers and Tiaras? It can be and let me tell you- those folks are freaky! The moms and teachers who give you the cold shoulder because you don't have the latest and greatest in equipment or look down their noses and get outright rude because you don't fit in their little clique. The dirty looks you get because you actually have to (god forbid!) work instead of being at the studio at 3pm each day. The girls who burst into inconsolable tears when they miss one step.... And please, do NOT forget some of the most hideous costuming and hair styles ever created. Oh yes, there is some crazy drama going on out there.

Generally though, dance competitions aren't all that bad. My daughter is a complete devotee to the art of dance and the chance to show off. I happen to think she is quite talented too. She has danced with the same group of girls for years and they have developed a loving and supportive friendship at a time in life when many girls are falling to pieces. Her grades are high, she's exercising instead of sitting on the couch, and she has such confidence (even when looking like a tin soldier or wearing a cup of cocoa on her head).

                     

Dance is what she lives and breathes and it's the career path she wants to follow as of now. The competitions are a time when all that hard work is given the opportunity to be recognized by people outside their usual sphere. Some cool trophies and the chance at scholarship money never hurts either.

So, as she expands into the realm of solos and fancier costuming I need to become the mother and woman I have never been- I need to get with the frilly and feminine program. I have to get with the sparkle thing. And because I love her to death and want to support her dreams but think shelling out anywhere from $50-200 on a fancy dolled up costume is ridiculous... I am learning how to sew and gem.

Last year's lyric solo costume was an e-bay find for less than $20. I spent hours with gems and glue and shaky, inexperienced hands to make a great base into something that would shine on stage. It wasn't the best but I was so proud of myself.

This year I need to do even better and do it with two costumes. Here are my bases. Excuse the awful photo quality. 

Lyric costume- I Know Where I've Been from Hairspray

Jazz costume- Some People from Gypsy

I've been planning the jazz design since yesterday and have started the gemming tonight. I haven't even started the lyric but I know it involves sewing the waist tighter, sewing the overdress to the tank top underneath and a whole heck of a lot of sparkle work. I have 25 days. I'm armed with crystals, heat tools, gems, needles and thread and my good old shaky, achy hands. Cue the hair pulling!